At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
