fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize