So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
