you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she woke up with a sticky ear
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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