dude i'm inner monologue high
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
