sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
