Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize