at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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