So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
