): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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