So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
