he puts the penis in happiness.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Sorry about my life...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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