just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize