it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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