It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
