im drinking this country out of the recession.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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