My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
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I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
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I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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