Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
