Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Randomize
