I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
