we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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