'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
