yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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