hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
