I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
