It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
