brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
