I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
