This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
