cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
