Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
