you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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