I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
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Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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