the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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