They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
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The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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