i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
A bitchslap is in order.
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