Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
