i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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