a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
