That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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