Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize