i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
