we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
