Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
