i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
