just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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