One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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