I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
