o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize