I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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