also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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