Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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