I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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