are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
