So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
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I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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