just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
