There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
