Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
BRING THE BAGELS
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
