I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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