I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
