Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm like, not good at living.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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