I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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