oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
